Scenes With Impact
Question:
I have trouble writing scenes with impact. How do you work your scenes? What points do you think must be hit upon within them, and when do you decide to move onto the next scene?
Answer:
First, let me begin by defining the terms I use when I talk about “scenes” because I think much of the confusion that arises when we talk Scenes on listserves or in workshops arises because we're not all defining Scene the same way.
Scene isn't just any group of words that falls between scene break symbols. Very often in my books, what falls between scene break symbols is much more than a scene -- a scene plus set-up, a scene plus sequel, sequel plus scene plus sequel .... that section of text can be almost anything, and the scene break symbols go where it feels right to the author, but that grouping of words is not necessarily Scene.
Nor is a scene just the collective bunch of words that describe the action taking place in one location or during one time period. Everything that happens at the ball isn't "a scene." Everything that happens as the characters share their first kiss isn't a scene. Often, for me, that first kiss will take two or even three scenes to accomplish.
When I talk about Scene, the definition I use is the definition Dwight Swain gives us in Techniques of the Selling Writer. It’s a specific unit of conflict lived through by character and reader, blow-by-blow and minute-by-minute. It has a definite structure, beginning with establishing the viewpoint character's goal for that scene and ending at the pin-point moment when the character realizes that she isn't going to achieve her goal (or the moment of disaster.)
Two mistakes I frequently see when people are getting used to writing this way are (1) that the goal they decide upon for their character isn't specific enough or (2) they focus on the author’s goal rather than the character’s goal.
The character’s goal for each scene must be specific -- something the character can accomplish right here, right now. Rather than having your character approach each scene hoping to accomplish their book goal (to win that promotion, to achieve revenge, to discover the murderer, to keep a child safe) because any of those goals are too broad, let them approach the scene hoping to achieve a more specific goal (one step along the path toward that ultimate book goal).
Rather than approaching the scene wanting to win that promotion, then, the heroine would walk into the scene wanting her interview with the boss to go well, or wanting her presentation to go well, or wanting to arrive at the meeting on time. Rather than approaching the scene wanting to find the murderer, the protagonist might approach a witness's front door hoping that she'll admit she saw something specific the night of the murder, or hoping she'll provide an alibi for the person your protagonist is trying to clear.
Using the heroine who wants to arrive at a meeting on time for an example, the scene begins as she establishes that goal and continues, without any breaks in time, as she drives through traffic or struggles to get her daughter dressed and dropped off at daycare. The conflict in the scene should be directly related to her goal -- her daughter wants to wear the pink shorts, but the heroine can't find them. The phone keeps ringing. Breakfast burns, etc. Throughout the conflict, the heroine retains hope that she can still get to the meeting on time ... until she finally buckles her daughter into her car seat, slips behind the wheel, and turns the key in the ignition.
Then, when the car won't start, she realizes she's in big trouble. There's no way she can make it on time. Disaster. The scene is over. What comes next (her emotional reaction to it, the options she has, and her ultimate decision) is not "Scene."
Nor would this be "Scene" if the heroine was simply getting ready for work, but there was no conflict involved. Scene must include conflict. Without conflict, it's something else -- a happening, an event, something you may very well want to include in your book, but not a "scene" by the strict definition.
By understanding what is "Scene" and what isn't, you can learn to control the pacing of your book -- the more scenes you include, the faster paced your book will be. The longer the sequels or the more happenings and events you include, the slower your story's pace will feel.
This is Scene definition in a nutshell, but I wanted to make sure we're all on the same page before I start answering your specific questions :) Whenever I talk about "Scene" this Goal/Conflict/Disaster unit is what I'm talking about.
My scenes all begin by identifying the viewpoint character's goal as I go into the scene. I don't just drop the goal onto the page, however. So what you might see after the scene-break symbol in one of my books is something like this:
--- --- --- ---Scarcely breathing, Gabe Malone waited inside the half-finished laundry room until the girls hurried away. Only a thin piece of sheet rock had separated him from them and, considering the tone of their conversation, he'd been reluctant to make any noise until they finished. Obviously, they had no idea he was down here.
He chuckled softly, released the catch on his tape measure and stuffed it into a pocket on his tool-belt. Poor Mrs. Lawrence. Gabe hadn't yet met her, but he could just imagine the kind of woman who needed her daughters' help finding a date. Probably a plain Jane with zero personality. Hadn't his dad told him she was an instructor at one of the local community colleges? He added "dowdy" to his list.
Pulling himself back to the moment, he checked his watch and groaned aloud. Nearly six o'clock already, and he still had to shower and change and pick up the roses he'd ordered for his date with Natasha. If he didn't leave now, he might as well call her and cancel their New Year's plans--whatever they were. She wanted to surprise him, and he'd agreed, as long as she let him foot the bill. Now, he was eager to find out what she'd arranged.
--- --- --- ---That's an excerpt from one of my early books published by Harlequin Superromance, A MAN FOR MOM. The first two paragraphs are actually Gabe's reaction to something he just overheard -- they're not part of the scene itself, but I wanted to establish that reaction since he and the heroine haven't met yet. I also wanted to establish the fact that he's dating someone else before he meets the heroine, and to do that quickly in his very first appearance "on stage." It should be clear what his goal is by the end of those 3 paragraphs, and that's where the scene actually begins.
Or you might find something like this:
--- --- --- ---Saturday dawned cold and windy, and by early afternoon Sharon knew they were in for a major storm. She loaded groceries into the trunk while Christa held the shopping cart to keep the wind from blowing it away. She worked quickly, anxious to get out of the bitter cold, determined to finish this last chore and get home before Gabe arrived.
--- --- --- ---Sharon's goal is clear -- she wants to get home before Gabe arrives. Since this is a matchmaking story, we know from a previous scene in her daughter's POV that Christa's goal is to introduce her mom to some new man. The scene continues as Sharon's and Christa's goals are in conflict with one another.
As the scene progresses, the viewpoint character must make continued attempts to achieve her goal in spite of the conflict she faces. The character with the opposing goal must do the same. If either character gives up too easily, the conflict is over and the scene lies flat and limp on the page.
As I've mentioned, in a scene (using the definition above) we need to know the viewpoint character's goal, we need to encounter conflict as the scene progresses, and we need to encounter a disaster. This is how we as readers identify with the viewpoint character. If we know what the character wants as the scene opens, we, as readers, can judge the events that happen next for ourselves. We can feel right along with the viewpoint character, and we know exactly what to root for.
Writing this way allows us, as authors, to show not tell because the reader is right there with the character, and we don't ever have to stop to explain the character's emotional and physical reactions to events as they unfold in the scene. If you're writing scenes without a clear goal for the character, you will, out of necessity, have to do more telling since you'll often have to explain after the fact what the character wanted, or explain why she's reacting a certain way to something that just happened.
If you allow the reader to live through the scene with your character, you simply have to show the events unfolding and keep the reader grounded with the character's thought processes as the scene progresses. It makes for much stronger writing (at least for me!)
Finally, you asked when I decide to move onto the next scene. There's a short answer and a long answer to this question, but since I've already been pretty long-winded, maybe I should settle for the short one today. First, I know it’s time to move on when the character runs into the scene’s disaster. When that happens, the scene is over and we move on to sequel. I know it’s time to let the character hit the disaster when the information I'm sharing is in danger of becoming repetitive. If the dialogue begins to feel repetitive, if I'm repeating reactions or restating motivation, or if I'm no longer sharing new information the reader hasn't heard before, it's definitely time to move along :)
Hope this helps a little!
~Sherry
